It is Well

It is easy to loose hope, especially when it seems all you do is wait and wait to see the promises of God fulfilled in your life.  You know He has a good plan and purpose for you but you never see it come about and you feel as if "the process" will never end.

Late last year I went down into that place.  I felt that nothing good was ever going to happen and I felt very discouraged and hopeless.  I felt that my hope was deferred and when in the world was I going to experience the other side of that verse that talks about a longing fulfilled

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.  Prov 13:12

I told no one, not even those closest to me, how I was feeling and in mid September I went to a Tenacious Love conference in Tulsa.  I received a lot of encouraging uplifting words from total strangers at this conference but the word that effected me the most was when one of the prophets at the church said I see the words hope deferred over you and that my hope would no longer be deferred that my time of harvest had come.

Obviously I left that conference full of hope of all that God was going to do!  A week or two later I was told my position was eliminated and thanks for the four years.  My world was completely rocked and I was devastated.  I barely made it home that day because of the tears, agony, and the total unexpectedness of what happened.   Thankfully I have a great support group and a friend made sure I was not alone that day which I greatly appreciated (thank you friend, you know who you are).  :)

Through out this time of unemployment my hope level has been up or down depending on where my focus has been.  Recently my focus went to the problem again and I cried out to God "you said my hope would no longer be deferred."  "When is this going to end!"  I was mad at God even if I did not want to be because I was too focused on the problem.

During this time I listened to a teaching on Bethel TV called Living the Blessed Life and one of the speakers Dawna DeSilva said something that caught my attention.  She said if you were in a terrible car accident, one so bad they had to open the car with the jaws of life to get you out, and when you woke up in the hospital you found your dad slumped over your bed asleep would you be mad at your dad for the accident?   Obviously the answer is no you would not.

Thankfully this teaching provided a turning point for me in this process and it shifted my focus back to God.  I asked forgiveness for being angry with Him and from that point on mentally and emotionally things began to change.  Peace flooded my spirit like never before, peace that remained no matter what my circumstances looked like, no matter what was taking place.  I could apply for a job in the morning and by the afternoon I could receive an email that they went with another candidate.  The old tried to come to make me upset and depressed and then it would immediately leave as I turned my focus back on God and the good plans He has for me.

I began to realize it is well with my soul.  Nothing around me had changed the storms still raged, I still have no idea when my job will come and how long the money will last, but this is what I know God has this covered.  He has this whole situation, no matter how big it appears to me, at His feet ready to step on it and make it no more.  See it is a totally small thing to Him.  He is the God of the impossible and He is my provider.  As difficult as this time has been it has provided me opportunities to help and bless others that I could not have done if I had a job.

I know so many good things are coming out of this besides the opportunities to bless others.  Slowly I am also seeing how my behind the scenes gifts are valuable and important.  I don't have to be out in front of others for me to be important and valuable or for God to use me.  I think sometimes we all think that is the only way to be important to others and to God but the recent Superbowl helped me change my view on this.  The Patriot's Player who caught the ball on the one yard line was an unknown, he was not chosen in the draft because he was an unknown, in fact he had to join the Patriots as a free agent to be a part of the team (forgive me if I have any of that incorrect, my football knowledge is limited) but look how He was used!  He won the game for his team and God elevated him to a known person.  He just continued to do his best and glorify God with the gift and talent that God had given him.

Prov 13:12 in The Passion Translation reads like this:

When hope's dream seems to drag on and on the delay can be depressing, but when at last your dream comes true, life's sweetness will satisfy your soul.  Prov 13:12 TPT

So as you wait for your hope's dreams to be fulfilled know it can be well with your soul also.  Keep your focus on God, continue to live for Him, and use the gifts and talents He has given you to glorify Him.