God is so good and faithful and He is doing an amazing work within me. As I was walking out some truths this weekend and trying to move into different more truthful mindsets I found myself anxious and fearful. I was fearful as I faced the same situations that in the past have left me hurt, wounded, and feeling rejected. I was nervous and afraid that I would act the same way as I have acted in the past, from a place of hurt and woundedness and not from a place of love. While I cannot say the weekend went perfectly, there were a few times I know my words and actions may have been better, I just asked God to forgive me and moved on. In the midst of my fear I say Jesus taking my hand and saying He was with me walking right beside me. In Isaiah 41 verses 10 and 13 God reminds us to not fear because He is with us and He is upholding us with His righteous right hand. This is the verses that came to mind with the picture I saw, while the fear never left it did diminish and I was able to walk in more confidence and boldness as the weekend progressed. The feeling of always being on the outskirts and looking in began to recede as I began to know I had a place and a purpose with others.
Last week I began to allow God to really show me who I was in Him. I began to confess those words out of my mouth. At times I felt like a liar but God's word is true so I just pushed through the negative until the truth began to take root in my life. John 8:32 declares that we will know the truth and the truth will set us free. I held firmly onto these words because this scripture has brought past healing to me so I know it would bring a deeper healing as well.
To move on, this weekend at church we sang the song No Longer Slaves. This song talks about being free of fear but it also talks about being a child of God. This phrase in particular stood out to me during church. What does it look like to be a Child of God? Obviously it doesn't look like a person who walks around in gloom and despair. Graham Cooke always says there will be no Eeyore's in heaven. So as children of God we should be loving, kind, joyful, always willing to help another, and so much more. It means living a life that sees the one in front of you and not just living a life that is all about you. Friday night I observed a group of ladies that love God but do not walk in the power and authority that is their's because they are children of God. They walk in a place of powerlessness feeling that what they need can only come from others.
It dawned on me friday, and I have observed these ladies for awhile now, that they all had a leader and that leader maybe in good faith was training the other women to be powerless as she was. Maybe the leader did not know the power that was within her but for whatever reason I began to have compassion on these women. I know that each one of them was loved by a great God and He had great plans and purposes for them, there was a treasure waiting to be mined in them.
Since I want to be a gold miner and draw that gold out of others I began to pray for God to help me help them discover their worth and value in Him. I want to see people walk in the power and authority that God gave them. I want to help others not only walk in truth but I want them to see themselves through God's eyes. I know a few of their stories and I know their past has been difficult but I also know we don't have to live in our past. We are made new, the old man has gone, it has been crucified with Christ on the cross.
Please know I do not judge these ladies for where they are I just recognize it as having been there myself. When you have dwelt in a pit long enough you begin to see other pit dweelers and your desire will be to help them see how they can be free of their pit too.
As you listen to the song No Longer Slaves my God begin to speak His truth to you. May you hear from Him what it looks like to be a Child of God. For me He is speaking the truth the fear will not take my voice away. I am important and I have something to say!
In parting I want to leave you a few truths to stand firm on:
- You are valuable
- You are loved
- You are chosen
- You are wanted
- You have a part that only you can fulfill (Jer 29:11)
- You are accepted
- God will make a way when there appears to be no way because He is a God of the impossible.
Love and blessings to each of you.
