During the midst of this battle my pastor started a series at church on covenant. In this series he used the illustration of Ziba and Mephibosheth. Mephibosheth did not understand his identity or his inheritance and because of that he allowed Ziba, the enemy, to steal his inheritance. In fact Mephibosheth identified himself as a dead dog to King David, not a very good self image. I think at times all of us can identify with this mentality and image about ourselves. We feel unworthy or like dead dogs or grasshoppers. In other words we feel small and insignificant, like our life has no meaning, value or worth.
Mephibosheth's low self image may have come because of his disabilities, but if he had totally understood the covenant between his father, Jonathan, and King David then he would have known that despite the disabilities he had a right and a privilege to enter the King's presence. There would have been a boldness to Mephibosheth instead of a lowly servant mentality if he had totally understood his inheritance and identity.
One of the reasons the enemy delights in attacking us in our identity is so he can steal our inheritance. He wants to keep us in a dry and barren place where we feel unworthy, unloved, and totally useless. A place where we feel we have to perform to earn God's love, to feel accepted by those around us, and earn our inheritance. In this dry and barren place we begin to become malnourished spiritually and cannot discover our identity or inheritance. There is no boldness in this place and it is a place we must leave before we can understand what is rightfully ours.
A few days before I heard the message on covenant there was a word spoken during worship practice that a time of release had come. The person who spoke this word did not understand it or why it needed to be spoken, but I knew it was for me. I was being released into a new level in my relationship with God and I was being released into a place of freedom. The tether that was attached to me, that only allowed me to go so far before I was yanked back, was being broken off of me.
Both the word spoken and the message were so liberating to me during my time of battle. I realized as Pastor Stan had said I had stayed in a conversation with the enemy too long and gotten into a place of deception. A dry and barren place where I could not feel God's presence, where I was identifying myself in how I acted and behaved and not who God had said I was, a place where I allowed my identity to become that of a dead dog. There was absolutely no life in that dry and barren place and it was time I vacated it. It was time for me to rediscover who God said that I am and to take back from the enemy all that God has given me.
In the dry and barren place I may not have been able to feel God's presence but He was there all the time. I was the one who moved away from Him and I was the one who would need to draw near to Him again. What freedom came with that realization. No more was I going to allow the pressures of this world and the demands and expectations of others rob me of hearing from God and sensing His nearness to me. As I began the journey to draw near to God I want to say the results were instantaneous, but they were not. Because God had said He is taking me to a new level with Him, I could not do what I had done in the past and expect new results. Every time God takes me to a new level I have to discover what will bring me to a new level of intimacy with Him. There is no set pattern and what works for one will not work for another. All I can say is don't give up because the end result is so worth it!
To wrap this up I desire for all of you to leave the dry and barren place you may be inhabiting. Do not become like Mephibosheth and allow the enemy to steal your inheritance and indentity. Begin to see yourself as God sees you. Speak those words over yourself, no matter how silly it may seem. Do not allow your present circumstances or situations continue to rob you of all the great and wonderful things God has in store for you. There is absolutely nothing you can do to earn God's love or to keep you from God's love. He loves you because you are you! I recently read in the book Pursued by Jud Whilite a passage this sums this up so well: "I can finally rest in the fact that I am not good enough for God, but He is absolutely good enough for me." Such a powerful statement. We are unworthy of God's love yet He loves us, chose us, and has called us by name. We just need to rest in that.
So do as Romans 12:1-2 says (see below) and give your all to God, you will not be sorry you did. He has a great and wonderful plan for each of you as Jer 29:11 states. Listen to the words of the new Matthew West song Unchangeable. You are not a mistake, God's love for you in unchangeable, and He knows the plans and purposes He has for each of you.
So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. (Romans 12:1, 2 MSG)
